White coat. Heels.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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