She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
3 2 1 whiskey
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
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