and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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