Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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