I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
