I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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