Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
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how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
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I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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