I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
i think i scared a bird with my dick
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
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