I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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