Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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