The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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