Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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