pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
He felt like a one man threesome
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
