we have pet lesbian snakes
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
from now on my penis is your penis
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize