Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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