Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
And then he peed in my hair
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