I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
