i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
