fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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