I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
