butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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