I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Randomize
