Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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