would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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