Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
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