a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Are we still banned from the library?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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