idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
you had me at cake vodka
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
