His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
True strength comes from lack of pants
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
