summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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