Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
