Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Randomize
