You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
