Welp...herpes.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize