just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
