my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
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Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
where are my eyebrows?
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