No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
