I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
