He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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