:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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