he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
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