You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
