well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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