I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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