white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
My vagina just clenched in fear
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