ya dads aren't the best wingmen
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
There's always time for handjobs
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Randomize
