I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize