Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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