CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
