i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
