you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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