Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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