Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
