I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
