I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
please come you make the beer taste better
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
