She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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