I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Did I show you my penis last night?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Randomize
