So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Randomize
