fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Randomize